My Youth, Romantic Comedy is as deceptive as I expected
by Forsaken Archer
Summary: A one-shot for Hikigaya Hachiman and Ebina Hina, done by request for Christmas.


My Youth, Romantic Comedy is as deceptive as I expected - Of romance entwined in lies, facades and deceptions

How did it come to this, honestly?

Hiratsuka-sensei somehow convinced the school to partake in this farce of a winter vacation - all of us trekking up to the Mt. Nokogiri and staying there in cabins…

Naturally, I tried to skip out, but…

* * *

 _"Oi, Hikigaya-kun." The deep, tenor voice of Hiratsuka Shizuka hid the annoyance that she had, judging from how a tick was above her right eyebrow and the frequent tapping of her shoulders._

 _"Yes, sensei?"_

 _She took a long puff on her cigarette before grinding it into the ashtray, closing her eyes as she asked. "What exactly is your excuse for not handing in the form for the Christmas trip again? I distinctly remember that I handed out that form almost a MONTH ago."_

 _The smug expression or that warm smile did nothing to alleviate my worries - in fact, it heightened my seventh sense; The "Hiratsuka-Danger sense"._

 _I forced a comical expression on my face, rapidly thinking of excuses before settling on one, trying to avoid being punched...again. "W-well, you see, my parents are hard at work, and being the kind, considerate son that I am, I wouldn't wish to bother them, working overtime and all. Sensei, you get that, right? Right?"_

 _She pooled her hand in her hands, sniffing and mumbling out. "Oh...oh I get it…"_

 _Before looking to me with a straight face and raised a delicate eyebrow, somehow making such a common action seem so elegant. Her pleasant smile had completely changed to a terrifying one. "Actually no I don't. What other pathetic excuses do you have? Spit them out then I'll punch you for being so tardy."_

 _"So you're punching me either way…"_

 _Hiratsuka-sensei stood up, stretching and I had to divert my eyes from her...sizable assets bouncing. "Well, in any case, you're going. It's a three day trip, if you bothered to read the form."_

* * *

Now I was just alone, using one of my '108 skills - Standing alone while reading' and occasionally staring at the clouds. Nara Shikamaru would have been proud of me. After all, this was just troublesome.

Unfortunately, Totsuka fell ill and was unable to come with us. D-Damn it! I should've faked a sickie as well! Then I could care for that angel!

A large shout and the voice of Yuigahama Yui carried across the bus station. "Hikki! There you are, we've been trying to find you for so long!"

Her pink hair bobbed in the chilly air, and she was dragging along Yukinoshita Yukino. Both were wearing matching scarves and cat mittens.

Yukinoshita interjected before I could say anything. "By we, she means you. I was just forced to tag along."

"As cold as ever, even in this unrelenting winter, huh…"

We traded the usual pleasantries, before some annoying voice interrupted the flow of the conversation.

"Hachiman! Thou shall assist me in this endeavour, to brave the cold, winter plains torn asunder by the previous war. We, together as master and servant shall restore life to this planet!" The large, boisterous voice of Zaimokuza thundered around, and his sights were only focused on me, laughing disgustingly all the way. "This Christmas the commonfolk speak of, it is nothing but a facade! Only us, surviving alone by the hardships of war, see through this farce known as exchanging presents! We will-

"So, who forgot to give you their Secret Santa present? By the way, I got one."

Zaimokuza fell to the floor on his knees, pathetically whimpering. "S-Shut up, Hachiman! I thought you were doomed with me, but I see you have abandoned my way!"

"Well, I guess I was lucky. Yuigahama was my secret santa. Thanks for the vouchers again, Yuigahama."

Yuigahama instantly flushed, as she played around with the hems of her skirt and beamed at me. I tried not to stare...too much. "A-aah, it was nothing Hikki."

"T-That so? Uh, Yukinoshita, what did you get?"

Yukinoshita went stiff, as she coldly replied. "A pair of cheap socks. Fortunately, we were the same 'secret santa's and I repaid the favour thricefold."

"..."

Silence reigned, before Yuigahama broke it with her cheerful aura. She bounced up and down had a gleam entered her eyes. "I know! The Service Club should exchange presents as well!"

Yukinoshita cocked her head to the side before commenting. "Yuigahama-san, I don't think we would have enough time to select-"

Yuigahama just interrupted her commenting with no care. "Aah, Yukinon, it's about the meaning of the gifts, not the presents itself!"

Yukinoshita sighed in annoyance. "That's why I said we wouldn't have enough-"

Yuigahama just continued on, plowing through Yukinoshita. "I know! We should just make or try to buy one of the local treats there!"

Yukinoshita half-asked, half-stated. "Yuigahama-san, are you even listening to me?"

It was at this moment Yuigahama pulled out her trump card. "Ne ne, Yukinon, do you think they have cat themed stuff over there? Or maybe even Pan-san!"

KO! Yukinoshita stood no chance.

"C-cat, Pan-san things...m-maybe? I'm not sure?"

It seems like they were having their usual fun. I smirked, and continued to read in peace.

By the way, Zaimokuza was still whimpering on the floor, eliciting strange looks from other students as he sobbed like a baby without its favourite toy.

Disgusting.

* * *

"Ohayo, Hikitani-kun." The ever-present smile on Hayama Hayato's face and his kind demeanour was really annoying. Even if it was a farce.

"Yo yo yo, Hikitani-kun! Wassup, bro!?" The obnoxious thug-like voice came from Tobe, and he was more annoying than Zaimokuza in a way.

"Yo. It looks like we'll be sharing the same cabin, like that summer camp, huh."

I mourned sadly...If only Totsuka was here…

"Anyways, you're quite behind. Hiratsuka-sensei called for us to meet near the pavilion in around ten minutes. Do you want us to wait for you?"

"Ah, that's fine, you guys go on ahead. I'll catch up after unpacking."

As they left, I hurried to unpack my necessities. My PSP, two books, smartphone and charger, a bundle of clothes and three instant cup noodles.

The cabin was fairly spacious, two bunker beds and a small table in the center, with an attached bathroom with shower and a small TV set with a water heater.

Suddenly, a girl barged through the door, crying out. "Oooh! Haya X Hachi X Tobe pairing! Oh my god who is the seme, uke-"

"Ebina-san, I'm the only one here, you know…They already left, since I was slow in getting here."

The girl that just barged through the door was Ebina Hina, an avid fan of BL. Another girl part of Hayama's clique and a request that...well, it's all in the past now.

People often say a life without having anyone close is painful, but having them close then either being ripped away from them or having them ignore you is more painful. Enduring the scathing looks they send you behind your back, while simultaneously ignoring the negative comments of the public mass was hard.

I thought I was used to it by now.

Evidently not.

"Aah, so Hikigaya-kun's the 'slowest'? I thought Hayama-kun would be the 'slowest' since he trains in sports and has stamina training." Ebina offhandedly remarked.

"...Can you not please turn anything that can remotely be constructed as an innuendo into it, Ebina-san." I commented, my eye twitching. "Anyways, shouldn't we be getting to the pavilion?"

"Mhm!"

But as we went out, there was a problem.

A snowstorm was raging.

We wordlessly stared outside the window, before turning to look at each other.

"Well…shit."

* * *

In the end, our heroic efforts to try and brave the snowstorm was for naught.

The sudden snowstorm that hailed proved to ruin the trip, as the mass of students that were already gathered at the pavilion were unable to trek up back to the cabins, and were forced to stay at a hotel for refuge.

Or in my case, save the trip. Now I could just rest in peace. Whilst playing my beloved PSP.

Turns out only me and Ebina were the two students at the cabin, so until the snowstorm settled, we had the cabin to ourselves.

N-Not that I'm thinking anything indecent...i-it just came out wrong..

Ebina suddenly looked up from her phone. "Ne, Hikigaya-kun."

"Mmm?" I was too engrossed in my game of Taiko.

"Back then, when I said it maybe could work out with you?" Ebina stared at me. No. Beyond me. Her eyes reached past the form that lay on the bed, into somewhere distant.

"Mmm?" I thought back to the rooftop, where she smiled warmly at me with eager gray eyes and fired out those sweet, empty words, I was stunned for an instant.

I instantly recovered by instinct, and shot out those barbed words in return. And just for a brief moment, her face was surprised before a faint, bitter smile tugged at her lips.

Her monologue after that...her stance on liking things that didn't change, to savour each and every sweet moment, to cherish that which was precious. It was basc human nature, to be expected.

But in order to maintain this, humans willingly throw themselves into facades, to pretend, hide the truth, lie and deceive people around them, in order for their sense of normalcy.

For me, I savoured the relationship between the Service Club. My temporal bonds between Yukinoshita Yukino, Yuigahama Yui, and by extension Isshiki Iroha, Totsuka Saika and Yoshiteru Zaimokuza were one of the few things I wished to never change.

And that's why, like Ebina, I hated that part of myself. That part which used fake lies, distractions, undergoing pain, for that surface, fragile touch of affection.

I once proclaimed that people never change, that I was forever going to be a monster of logic, but truthfully, it was the nature of humans that never change. And the only thing I am is a hypocrite.

"When you rejected me, I was actually disappointed. I was being truthful, after all." She faintly murmured.

I sharply rebuked. "If I recall, I never rejected you. I just said that I might fall for you if you continued whispering those empty words." My words came out harsher than I expected. "I wasn't exacrtly lying at that point, was I?"

She smiled bitterly. "Hikigaya-kun, we're both rotten. We're alone, and there's no point with these lies and deception if both of us see through it."

I considered her statement, before finally replying, my bangs covering my eyes. "And why do you want to know?"

She firmly stared at me, soulless gray boring into honey brown. "I just want to."

I clung at one last chance, to steel myself before I could admit it. "You do realize, that I'm a monster of logic, right?"

A faint smile tugged on the corner of her lips, all traces of bitterness gone. "And I'm a diehard fan of BL."

After several seconds of silence, I muttered out. "...Yes. Probably."

Her lips had traced into a faint smile. "Well, I'll restate it again. If it was with you...it could be done. After all, we're both rotten to the core, right?"

Even after I felt my heart lift as the issue with Yukinoshita and Yuigahama was resolved, for the first time after the confession, I felt true resolution course through my body.

I teasingly smirked. "I thought you hated that part of you that never wanted to change?"

She ignored me for a few moments, tapping on her phone before gently smiling at me. "Because some things never change, after all."

Unlike last time, where she had turned away on the roof, it was me this time who blushed and turned away to the Taiko game.


End file.
